Tuesday Morning

Getting ready for work I was in my obligatory stance in front of the mirror. Mike of course wasting my morning and hovering nearby. I looked over at him and then back to the mirror. "This is getting bigger" I whined at him pointing at my spare tire. "Yeah..." What kind of response is that?! No sugar coating, no lamenting tone; just a flat "yeah". I guess it was better that way. It could have stung more if he had then reached for my boob. Then it would have pointed out the fact that my boobs are smaller than my fat possibly cream filled (ewww) center. I have no one to blame for my shape than myself. Well I'd like to place some blame on the sunflower seed industry. I never had stopped to really look at the nutritional label on those things until last night! Christ! They really should come with a warning label.
I got into work and scanned through my emails... I missed the "waist watchers" meeting the girls were having that morning. Like I really need a meeting to watch my waist. I watch it get bigger every time I look in the mirror! That's another thing that really should be outlawed... But alas I digress... Waist watchers: cause we're too cheap to pay for Weight Watchers! Not really. It just seemed a bit steep to slap down $120 for a 10 week commitment. So instead there's now a scale sitting by the fridge in the breakroom. They really should make it a package deal. You want in the fridge? Get on the scale! Yeah I'd loose weight that way... Especially if it had like a locking mechanism that doesn't let it open unless you weigh less than the last time you opened that door. So I'm sitting there thinking yeah I guess I'll join this waist watchers thing and then I thought about weight watchers online. So i figured I'd just combine them. Ok that sounds like a plan! I went back and forth deciding whether or not to do it. In the meantime I went to lunch at Olive Garden with the nerd herd. I'll have salad and a sensible dish! 2 bowls of salad half a plate of angle hair pasta drenched butter and melted mozzarella and 4 pathetic shrimp later I was back at my desk a paid membership to Weight Watchers online at my hot little finger tips! I carefully entered in all the food I'd eaten that day. I started the morning off with a plain bagle (don't get all excited for me yet, keep reading!) with egg, bacon and cheddar (told you so). Then lunch. At least there wasn't anything in the middle right? By the time I entered all that in I had already used all but like 7 of my daily points. Well shit! I can make that work I thought. Especially since fruits and veggies are free on this new plan. That or I'm staring down the barrel of an hour at the gym before dinner. Of course veggies sounded better when you put it like that. Oh how mistaken I was. The nerds wanted to go out to dinner. So dinner consisted of a turkey club on a french roll and steak fries. I happily scarfed half of my weekly bonus points.
Wednesday I'm happy to report went significantly better! Mike and I went to the gym, we only did about a half hour but whatever. Considering we were on a one day on one week off schedule before this was a great improvement. We were there Monday morning too. So half an hour done on the stationary bike. I thought I might die at some points and thanked God I was so close to the ground so it wouldn't be a horrible drop. I stayed within my points for that day and not only that but I decided to go back to the gym after work. Mike was off with the crew and I would otherwise have gone home to a bowl of rice or something just as unhealthy and passed out in front of the couch. So instead I did another half hour this time on the elliptical, again just as close to death as the morning shift but 11 activity points richer! ... Which I demolished tonight...
Oh God bless the Chinese. Chinese new years is today. Although none of us but Chris is chinese we all decided to celebrate at PF Chang's. It will be a long long long time before I go there again. I just can't afford the points. At this rate I'll just just barely be scraping by this weekend. Mike was annoyed that I went to the gym without him last night. I had to explain to him I don't have a choice. I eat as much as he does and yet get 1/2 of the points allotment! I'm a growing girl! Except I'm growing in the wrong direction!!
So here I am putting it out there for the world to see. I'm shaming myself into loosing weight. I won't post a picture of myself in all my glory because I would like to continue my friendship with you all but I will tell you I have returned to my heaviest weight. 234lbs. *hangs head in shame*