Open letter to the Girl Scouts

Your cookies come around once a year and every year your adoring fans flock to the local grocery store in search of the tiny table with 5 kids crowding it and the entry way to said grocery store. Well my little darlings I am not a fan. I despise being accosted on my way in and out of the grocery store. I hate that your damn cookies are so tasty that in years gone by I've scarfed boxes of them in one sitting. I hate that there are tiny kids selling this shit like crack! And I hate your parents for breeding. Why can't you guys sell your crack like schools do making the parents take their stupid order forms to work with them. I don't like high pressure sales and I don't like your militia style sales tactics. I have been in ONE grocery store that didn't have you brats parked outside every entrance. I feel like I have to bust some shit out like mission impossible to get in and out of the grocery store!You kids have every emergency exit covered. As a fat diabetic in America I say NO THANK YOU. And yet you brats got me!! 2 boxes of cookies sit in my kitchen as I type and that is it. Let me live my diabetic life in peace!
Sincerely this angry chunkster.

When I was a kid my sister, my cousin and I set up a lemonade stand. I got to go stand at the top of the street and hold our sign. I was just a tiny (age wise cause I was a plump little thing) innocent kid. I want to say I was like 6 or 7, I don't remember my little brother being born yet. So there I was standing with my lemonade sign waiting for any passer-byers. I was so excited when someone drove by and slowed to a stop. She rolled her window down and asked what we were selling. I said lemonade and mandarin oranges. She asked me if our lemonade had sugar in it I said I thought so. She scolded me. I was shocked! Shocked!! All I remember is she yelled something about being diabetic and I think the blank and slightly startled look on my face indicated lack of understanding to her. So she yelled something about sugar being bad for her before she drove away. I've never yelled at a kid trying to sell me sugar, don't know that I ever will.
I read a story today in the paper about a man in our area who had his toes eaten by his dog while he slept. This man was diabetic. It was pretty shocking to me not to mention disgusting! I think I need to cut that story out of the paper and paste it on the fridge and make copies and tape it to anything that has sugar that is in the house. Maybe that will be motivation enough to put down the cookies. Also I definitely think I'll rethink this whole dog idea. I like my toes where they are... on my feet.