I was sitting around the office earlier thinking that I've been ignoring my blog lately. It isn't something I want to do cause I just don't. It has just been exhausting being me lately. I know there are people out there with far more difficult problems, with fewer solutions, fewer recourses, just shittier all around. Still for me it's about as much as I can deal with right now.
I just want to pick up my toys and go play in the different part of the sandbox. I don't want to continue to dwell on what was done, said etc. Mike was fucked over by these people, I hope every manager at Pipeworks Software chokes on a dick. The end. I'm done with that. Now the problem is pulling Mike out of that corner of the sandbox. Obviously he's going to have harder feelings and hold onto them for a lot longer but it tires me out. I feel like we're just spinning and I wish the fucking ride would stop so I could get off.
Dealing with the unemployment office has become the nightmare of the moment. I can't blame Mike, it all really wouldn't have happened if I had read everything extremely carefully as I submitted his first week claim. The problem occurred because I submitted it hours too early. I have never done this before how was I supposed to know? Ok maybe if I had noticed the week end date before hitting submit I would have caught that I was in fact submitting a claim for the week ending May 21 and not May 28. If I had done it just 1.5 hrs later it would have officially been Sunday and it would have allowed me to file the claim for the week ending 5/28. Oops! When Mike called to correct my mistake, because by this point he had to "restart" his claim he made the fatal mistake of mentioning to the phone rep what his manager stated was the reason he was laid off: "performance issues". RED FLAG!!!
Oh Mike... I really can't blame him for being an honest person but what his manager said and the reason he was let go are two different things. Much less what his manager said vs what HR wrote in his file. So now his claim is being reviewed by an adjudicator and it could be 4 weeks before a decision is rendered. Fantastic!!
The house is a mess, I just have no energy to clean it. I've done some laundry, got it put away. There are piles of laundry in the laundry room, all clean mind you. Just not put away. Something smells funky in the kitchen. Probably something I tossed out last weekend and I am sure I never took that garbage bag out cause I planned to clean out the fridge then take it out.
I'm getting fatter and fatter by the minute. I can feel it. Mike lost a few pounds the week he was first let go. Stress related I'm sure. I found them. He mentioned the gym this morning. We made the decision to keep our DAC membership. I need to cancel my Golds Gym membership ASAP and pay them whatever is outstanding. Oh the DAC... $145 a month yeah there is some goddamn incentive to work out! Why would we keep such an outrageously priced membership when he just lost his job? Cause if we kept the Golds membership I would never go. The depression and anxiety and frustration that are all already taking over would make me explode and punch some fat chick in the back of the head.
Next week we are starting a financial education class. We will see how this goes... It was something I heard about through work. It's offered via O.U.R community credit union and it's a series of like 4 classes. 2 hours each, which teach you about budgeting, saving, etc. I really am hopeful that this will be a temporary situation. I want to give him a break for a little bit but at the same time I need to sit down with him an hash out a what if plan. What if you don't get any of the jobs that are posted nationwide? What if nothing comes open? Do we send you back to school?
The less pessimistic version of me is saying, he will get something really quickly and he will have to pick up and move somewhere outside Eugene. And while the prospect of him working makes me happy, it also fills me with dread. It is so frustrating to think that it is only a matter of time before I have to leave my job. I finally found somewhere that I really feel is for me. A lot of it is clerical but the opportunities it brings my way are worth the paper pushing time. I love being involved in the community resource network we have going, I love working with the other agencies. When our friends started dropping like flies around Pipeworks we would occasionally have the "what if I were next" chat. And we've kind of informally made the decision that we would get him set up in whatever this destination is and I would stay behind. It would be difficult, but I simply will not leave my job for the unknown. When we moved to Oregon I wish I had done that differently. I was in a position where I couldn't transfer to a store because of internal bullshit. Had I stayed behind for even 5 more months I could have secured a well paying position at a local store but I felt like we were up against a wall. My supervisor at the time gave me some false hope that I would in fact be able to figure this whole thing out but quickly stopped returning my calls and it wasn't until about 2 weeks later when I attempted to log into our employee site that I realized I was no longer an employee of VZW.
It really all turned out for the best I guess. It could have worked out better I'm sure but I spent 11 months working for Enterprise-Rent-A-Car before finding my home at EWEB. I suppose I've always known that this isn't the place where I'll retire. Mike isn't a small town kind of guy and has way too much potential to be trapped in a place like Pipeworks. But when I started working in limited income I felt like I had found the job for me. This here is home.
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