We survived day 14 yesterday with few casualties. We went on the river for the first time this summer truly shameful summer it has been! As we were packing ourselves together I had 6 bottles of juice, 4 of water and ourselves. Mike insisted I take a glucometer in case blood sugars dropped too low. I was like oh hell to the no! I had already double zip lock bagged my insulin pump then duct tapped it to ensure no water would get it even though I had no plans of going in the water. Maybe about 20 minutes on the water and all was smooth sailing. Until we came across a group of college kids in the middle of the river. But they weren't moving! What the hell?! I paddled desperately to avoid them but there was no hope for me. I slammed right into them and my kayak went tumbling over me as I struggled to stand up in the river current. The little bastards managed to rescue my juice bottles and one of my water bottles but it wasn't until I was back moving on the water that I realized the goddamn glucometer and Mike's inhaler were in the bag that got away. I was so pissed! Lucky for us I had the foresight to take an old glucometer that we only used as back up in case one of us couldn't find theirs. Oh well it could have turned out worse... my pump could have gotten water in it! I would have murdered all of those little fuckers if something had happened to the pump. Are you kidding me?! $5k piece of equipment! As soon as we stopped I took it off and stuffed it in someones dry bag. I would rather go the next 4 hours without insulin than risk injury to my precious. Beyond that it was a slow, relaxing trip.
Once back on dry land we had to decide what to do about getting nutrition into ourselves. More juice? Soup? Perhaps a salad? We decided to go out for a salad and soup as a way to incorporate our bike ride. It sounded like a good idea, but I was DYING! I didn't think I could continue pedaling. I wanted to stop, I wanted to push my bicycle in the river and call a cab. I wanted to call 911 and tell them I was moments from death on the bike path! This isn't worth it Mike! That's what I kept saying to myself. If I could have found a way to funnel that whining energy into pedaling it would have been amazing but I was pissed and I was aching and I just wanted the end to come. Meanwhile Mike was blocks ahead of me without a care in the world. Meanwhile I'm here relaying my tales to you only through an act of God. I am aching from head to toe. I am completely sun burnt and sore.
It's amazing what your body will let you do when you let it. I could honestly not have expected to continue going after these 14 days. When we started our goal was 60 days with the contingency plan of re-evaluating every 15 days. Today is day 15 and we both weighed in. We have lost 13 and 16lbs respectively and feel great! Mike was showing off last night and crossing his legs. I know it sounds like what the hell why couldn't he cross his legs? But Mike is making some serious progress his back feels better, he can walk easier he can swim and bike and put his own damn socks on! I'm bursting with pride for him. So are we going to stop now that we reached 15 days? Hell no! Shut yo mouth fool!
The last few years my new years resolution has consistently been to be a better healthier me. To lose weight to take care of me and every year I go strong and lose steam sometimes back slide and demotivate myself. But do you know what I get from it? I haven't stopped. I haven't given up, I haven't quit. I've re-evaluated what I'm doing and I've tried a different approach. I started using my insulin pump nearly a year ago and have made insane strides in maintaining a better level of control. Sure I put on 20+ lbs since I started but I haven't had full control of that. I'm not making the excuse that it was all my meds. My meds didn't tell me to eat that 16oz rib eye, or drive me to McDonnald's for a Big Mac. I take full responsibility for my role in my terrible actions. But I have also been the first to tell myself that I can do it. To get my ass in that kitchen and make a glass of juice when my blood sugar has gotten low instead of heading straight for the freezer in search of a long forgotten pint of ice cream.
Mike asked me the other night why we have to be the ones that are so fat. All I could do was shrug. But I also had to remind him that while we are fat science has proved that we could very easily outlive some our smaller counter parts. There are many folks in our lives who are smaller framed but eat just as bad and if not worse than we did but probably felt ok doing it because, well they aren't as fat as the Jones'. I don't think I will ever be a small person, I will be smaller I can guarantee you that but I am okay not being a size 2 or 4 or 6. I will be okay if I only ever got down to a size 16. But you know what? While in those size 16's I'm going to be the healthiest I have ever been. I am going to live a happy bright life, I am going to have energy and love life. You can keep your size 8's and your clogged arteries thank you very much. I'm not giving up any time soon, I see how fantastic I feel and there may be a time when I slow down but I don't plan on quitting any time soon believe it.
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