I thought today was going to suck. Like major, Dyson style suck. I woke up way way way late. Like 20 minutes to get dressed in anything not involving pj's, late. I looked in the fridge amongst the bags of fruits and veggies, past the cheeses sitting there taunting me... to where my juice sat. All 3 servings of juice. Then it hit me like a pile of rocks. GODDAMN IT! That's not enough juice!! I considered stealing the juice I had prepped for Mike (sorry hon, desprate times...) but reconsidered it when I realized I didn't have any more cucumbers in the house for him to make some mean green with. I was just tired and the world was looking bleek. I made juice before bed, before that I was standing in Market of Choice wondering what on earth I was out of. I prefer to do my shopping at the farm but because I work all week I can't get out there except weekends and Mondays. I managed to get enough veggies last weekend to last me until last night. So that was what like 5 days. I had been cautious in buying too much of some stuff over the weekend cause I knew I still had some, such as cucumbers. So before leaving the house I made mental notes of what is still there, tons of apples and tomatoes cucumbers... I got home and unloaded and started prepping juice for today. Then I hit my major snag. I only had 2 cucumbers left. Just enough to make mean green but not enough to make anything else that wasn't primarily fruit based. I had 2 choices: 1 go back to the damn grocery store or 2 suck it up and think of something else to juice. So I just started tossing stuff in the juicer. I made enough juice for 3 "meals" but I drink about 4 a day while at work. I figured I would get up early and make a super quick run to the grocery store and pick up some naked juice or some veggies and juice before I left whichever was quicker. Given that I woke up with 20 minutes before work I bet you know how that worked out! What is one to do when left without juice? One invites their husband to lunch. Soup to be exact! There is a little place in town called Soup Nation. If you haven't seen them before they are located on 5th and High and you should go there. They have 8 types of soup daily and they are amazing. I don't mind cheating on my juice diet with veggie soup! And that my friends is exactly what I did, thereby salvaging my day.
Last night I went blueberry picking. It was a lot of work but damn worth it. Thanks to my wonderful friend Jenny, who invited us along to her friends farm. They have close to 200 blueberry bushes, I might be lying but I swear that's what he said. Anywhoo, yes we went and picked and picked for like 2 hours. What was awesome was watching Mike do it. You know why? Cause he could! Thinking back I realize that if I take anything away from this 60 day experience is that we are giving ourselves the life we deserve. 11 days ago Mike was struggling to even sit at some points cause his back made him uncomfortable. Walking through Pike Place Market was slow going and made me feel terrible to see him wince in pain. But yesterday, he was picking like the best of any Mexican field workers!
God knows we have half assed just about everything in our lives except eating. But I feel so alive these days. It's been a struggle, I am not sugar coating it at all. But the last 10 days have given me a reason to keep doing it. Just showing myself that I can do it. I can finish an 11 mile bike ride, sure I will piss and moan, I'll be the last one trailing behind on the path, I'll ask if I can turn back at the 4 mile mark but then I keep going. I keep pedaling and 7 miles later I'm thinking that wasn't so bad! The same is true of the juicing. When I started I thought forget it. I can't do it. I want steak. I want fish. I want chicken. I want rice. I want I want I want. But I don't need! Mike is by far doing so much better than I am. I fell flat on my face on day 2, I tore open a bag of crackers on day 6 when my blood sugar got too low, I assaulted a container of ice cream that was left in the freezer on day 3 again when the low blood sugar hit, and on day 9 when the same happened. Are you noticing a trend there? My blood sugar is too low! What? That's not possible! Little miss beetus, who less than a year ago today had her blood sugar sitting in the high 200's, who went home for her sisters wedding a year ago and was running numbers so high that the glucometer couldn't read them. Yes that little miss beetus who was running out of insulin in less than 2 days, she is now going almost 3 days without changing out the pump. I have been monitoring my blood sugars really closely because I haven't been pumping extra insulin to cover my juice so I was worried I would start to spike but I am more than happy to report that I am hanging steady. Where I was once averaging 160-180 after meals, I am now under 130. Where I would once wake up and be sitting over 120, I am now waking up between 60 and 80. It is just so refreshing and encouraging. I thank my wonderful portable pancreas for doing most of the work but thank god for the veggies that I am taking in.
I continue to do this back and forth with myself. Scolding myself when I eat stuff though it is usually due to the low blood sugar so what am I to do? But I also remind myself that it is okay. I am adjusting my insulin levels and I am juicing more frequently and what the hell, so I messed up a little bit but you know what? I have another 49 days to go. I worry that the snacking will reflect on the scale but ultimately what I care about is the numbers that will come out of my blood work. I want to proudly say I am kicking the shit out of the beetus. That's right beetus you don't control me, ya heard?!
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