Theres two boxes of stuff sitting in my living room. One is closer in view and I kinda feel like throwing a blanket over it. Advocare products. They're health supplements and weight loss aids? I don't quite know. Oz was talking about meal replacement shakes and no bread. I think the look of horror on my face alarmed him. He assured me I don't have to do away with it but eat less of it. I might have broken down in tears if he said rice. Maybe he would have been disgusted if he knew how much rice I eat. Good gracious if he knew what I ate on a daily basis he would slap me upside the head! But while he said meal replacement shakes he also said 5 meals a day. Ok I think I can get down with this.
I don't know how I got talked into this. It's a 24 day challenge. There is a recommended diet plan... um yeah that might not work out too well. I spent enough cash on it to give it an honest try. So far so good. Then he said "No alcohol for the first 10 days." Man that was good while it lasted wasn't it! Ha ha! I'm not a drunk, hell I don't think I've had alcohol in the last 10 days. Wait when was the wine fest again? Yeah thats right no booze in the last 10 days sucka! But I was definitely looking forward to some boozing while I help Dana with her wallpaper project. Fine no booze sad sad Zuzu... Dagnabit this better be worth it!
Today we did legs... Leg press, then standing lunges then uh.. somethin else. When he said lunges I was like uh... no I don't do that. I hadn't seen what was coming yet but I had a bad feeling about it. Then he demonstrated. Yeah my body doesn't move like that. I don't have the coordination to stay upright. He let us modify it and yet I still thought I might die. How is it that without any machines and just a 10lb dumbbell in my hand I could be in that kind of agony? Guess it's what happens when you use your own body as resistance, lord knows I have enough resistance and body.
Today was weigh in day. I went up exactly 1lb. I'm okay with that, really I am. I've been working pretty hard in the gym the last few weeks and I haven't fallen off the Weight Watchers wagon. I think I need to eat less red meat. Gawd it is so tasty but it is so high in points (insert sad face). I got an email from Livestrong.com it said are you vegan-ish? As I hit delete I chuckled to myself saying yeah not even a little bit. I love dead animals, that sounds awful but they're just so tasty. Today I had a pork chop and a half cup of mashed potatoes for lunch. Also some baby carrots and celery sticks with about 3 tablespoons of this awesome cheese spread. I keep it at work that way I wont scarf it down when I get bored at home. Although there is plenty of cheese to keep me busy around here too! Anyway lunch was about 10pts. I was right on track until I ate a pepperoni stick and a teryaki meat stick. I was trying to support Jenny's little boy and his troop. 4pts each. So sad for me! Dinner consisted of a subway sub. It was the cold cut combo on wheat bread. I got the foot long intending to have half of it tomorrow. That didn't work out according to plan. I ate the whole thing there. Meh could have been worse I could have eaten a bag of chips with it too! I guesstimate it was roughly 20ish points. I couldn't tell you for sure right now cause weightwatchers.com is down. Damn it Jennifer Hudson if you're gonna slap your face on something at least make it work! Skinny bitch. Ugh. If I had money like she does I could hire people to shop and cook for me and a trainer to train me like 4hrs a day! And should all else fail, I'd have my jaw wired shut or weight loss surgery! And I'd have a team of shrinks at my disposal with all the drugs I could ever need. I would be like Anna Nicole Smith without the slurred speech and I'd fess up to my crazy pills! Of course if she was on crazy pills and not the other meds she was being prescribed... well lets just let her rest in peace. Have you guys heard that damn song that Nikki Minaj is rapping on talking about Anna? Oh Em Gee, I don't know what the rest of the song even is or why the fuck she's rapping about Anna Nicole Smith let alone the Virgin Mary and Joseph... Really is that all it takes to be famous these days? I don't get it. Whatever! If yall see me around the office pushing myself in my chair be kind and drag me to whatever my destination is, its unlikely I'll have use of my legs.
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